Grieving the Life Lost

Chris, my parents, my sister, my grandmother and I each wrote letters of things we had hoped to do with Malia in her life here on earth. Each person shared them with us. And it was a very moving experience for our family and an integral part of our grieving process. Here are some things I wish I could have done with my daughter, it is in ‘you’ language as it is written to her:

I grieve the hope I had …

To meet the one and only you alive and kicking, To rock you to sleep, To sing to you, To kiss you, To see your dad love you and you love him, To know the color of your eyes, To run with you in a stroller, To trim your hair, To read you stories, To take photos of you, To cuddle with you, To buy clothes for you to wear, To celebrate your first birthday with a party, To see you play the piano, To watch you dance, To go the ballet, To take you to the zoo, To take you on a plane to California, To see you walk on sand, To play games with you, To hear your first word, To see your first step, To hear you laugh, To hear you cry, To comfort you when you got hurt, To go with you to pierce your ears, To take you to Disneyland, To go camping with you, To push you on a swing, To take you to the bus stop on your first day of school, To see you kick a ball, To watch you eat an ice cream cone, To have a tea party with you, To see you open a present on Christmas, To take you to the movie theater, To watch you help someone else, To see you worship, To hear you pray, To learn from you … all these things I submit to the God who knows more about the bigger story than I do.

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